I have a lot of lumps on my head right now. Over the past couple of weeks, it seems as though God were bopping me on the head with His 2 x 4 a lot lately. While I listened to Miss Lisa, Brother Herb and Brother Josh teach and preach, sections of their lessons seem to reach out and smack me in the forehead!! Those sections, seem to keep repeating "you know what I want you to do, and what I have called you to do, what have you done in order to accomplish that?" Well, I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing by going back to school; that concept has not changed because education is key to the other portion of His plans. But apparently, I'm supposed to be moving on the OTHER journey He has me on at the same time!!?
Being the oh so brilliant human that I am, I question..."Really?" I said, shrugging my shoulders and looking up at the sky, "how can I possibly be on two different paths at the same time?" ---- that still small voice inside said, "because it's the road that's not visible to you, both paths you are on are parallel, walk in the middle of them to get to where I want you to go." Again, my humbleness continues to question the awkwardness and the instability of that unseen path --- but I soon realize that God sees the path and knows where I will stumble, trip up, or get smacked in the head with a branch or two, but His hands are guiding me and His feet are walking with me to the destination He has planned for me. I know where I have to be, but getting there is an arduous journey for me. But I have learned to praise God through trials and tribulations because He sees those trials come before they happen and He walks with me through them, and He is there when they are over.
People have been coming out of the woodwork lately with situations that need addressing, opportunities coming out of seemingly nowhere (yes, I know exactly where they are coming from), and now plans are being made to move to the middle unseen path. So there may be some changes to the blog in the near future, so keep watch (YOU GOTTA WATCH). Because you never know when it might contain something that you need to hear or someone you know needs to hear.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses
Last night, a friend inadvertently reminded me that "my cup runneth over" with excuses as to why I hadn't worked out in 3 weeks (ok, 4 weeks). Wow, as I heard myself rattle off the "reasons", I realized I was trying to justify my actions.
Shortly after that gut-wrenching realization, I was talking to that same friend on Facebook IM and another startling discovery was made. God is not just going to bring my mate to me and miraculously drop him in my life. I have to create a life of my own that could include someone who likes the same interests I have to be proactive. Now I'm not talking about scoping out the grocery stores for some single pitiful man that needs a woman, or stalking "manly" men at the Home Depot or Lowes. And I'm certainly not talking about frequenting bars looking for "Mr. Right". I'm talking about living my life and enjoying the things I want to do such as museums, botanical gardens, volunteering, etc.. Although I'm back at school this semester with 5 classes (they are broken up into two sections, I'm not COMPLETELY insane y'all), but I have to work on ME.
I've been reading an interesting book "How To Be Found By the Man You've Been Looking For" by Michelle McKinney Hammond. It's pretty enlightening and biblically backed up with scripture. After my conversation with my friend, I got the copy of this book back out, which I had put down and had never finished. WOW!! I got hit in the head right between the eyes with this 2 x 4 of self-realization "Perhaps this is your season for self-development." Ok God, I think I understand that, but all at once? Really? School, career, child, attitude, health, finances --- wow --- that's a lot on my plate. But God DOES give us more than WE can handle, so that we rely on HIM!!!! There is no way on earth or with my own humanity that I can handle or do all of that on my own. Thankfully, I don't have to.
So...........tonight I'll be finishing up my English homework, organizing my "Gazelle Intensity" for my debt snowball, doing dishes, laundry, loving on my kid and getting in some sort of work out again. This is going to be an intense summer and I hope to be able to get some non-intellectual fun in there some time. But my Lord and Savior has a plan for me, although I don't know where it is leading me, but I know it's going to be awesome with Him at the helm of this ship. So if you see me smiling through the pain of working out and school, it's because I know that on the other side of this cavernous valley is an amazing blessing that I can't even begin to imagine for me. Whether or not that includes a future mate is still unknown, but I'm ok with that if He doesn't want that for me, because I will love Him whether I am blessed with singleness or blessed with a mate.
So those of you who "hunger" for that companionship of a husband or wife. Ask yourself this question --- are you being proactive in pursuing things you've wanted to try or do the things you like to do, regardless of whether or not anyone else goes with you? I'm not saying only do the things that would attract the opposite sex, I'm saying do things that attract YOU. If it's in God's will for you to have a mate, you putting yourself out there and living your life (not sitting on the couch watching tv), loving and being obedient to God will be the attractant.
Shortly after that gut-wrenching realization, I was talking to that same friend on Facebook IM and another startling discovery was made. God is not just going to bring my mate to me and miraculously drop him in my life. I have to create a life of my own that could include someone who likes the same interests I have to be proactive. Now I'm not talking about scoping out the grocery stores for some single pitiful man that needs a woman, or stalking "manly" men at the Home Depot or Lowes. And I'm certainly not talking about frequenting bars looking for "Mr. Right". I'm talking about living my life and enjoying the things I want to do such as museums, botanical gardens, volunteering, etc.. Although I'm back at school this semester with 5 classes (they are broken up into two sections, I'm not COMPLETELY insane y'all), but I have to work on ME.
I've been reading an interesting book "How To Be Found By the Man You've Been Looking For" by Michelle McKinney Hammond. It's pretty enlightening and biblically backed up with scripture. After my conversation with my friend, I got the copy of this book back out, which I had put down and had never finished. WOW!! I got hit in the head right between the eyes with this 2 x 4 of self-realization "Perhaps this is your season for self-development." Ok God, I think I understand that, but all at once? Really? School, career, child, attitude, health, finances --- wow --- that's a lot on my plate. But God DOES give us more than WE can handle, so that we rely on HIM!!!! There is no way on earth or with my own humanity that I can handle or do all of that on my own. Thankfully, I don't have to.
So...........tonight I'll be finishing up my English homework, organizing my "Gazelle Intensity" for my debt snowball, doing dishes, laundry, loving on my kid and getting in some sort of work out again. This is going to be an intense summer and I hope to be able to get some non-intellectual fun in there some time. But my Lord and Savior has a plan for me, although I don't know where it is leading me, but I know it's going to be awesome with Him at the helm of this ship. So if you see me smiling through the pain of working out and school, it's because I know that on the other side of this cavernous valley is an amazing blessing that I can't even begin to imagine for me. Whether or not that includes a future mate is still unknown, but I'm ok with that if He doesn't want that for me, because I will love Him whether I am blessed with singleness or blessed with a mate.
So those of you who "hunger" for that companionship of a husband or wife. Ask yourself this question --- are you being proactive in pursuing things you've wanted to try or do the things you like to do, regardless of whether or not anyone else goes with you? I'm not saying only do the things that would attract the opposite sex, I'm saying do things that attract YOU. If it's in God's will for you to have a mate, you putting yourself out there and living your life (not sitting on the couch watching tv), loving and being obedient to God will be the attractant.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Loved - I Corinthians 13
I Corinthians gives us the definition of love and the fruits of that love. Today, I go to the funeral of a richly loved man, Hal Boday, Sr.. The outpouring of love, kindness and patience at this time is overwhelming. But I know there will also be long-suffering.
As I get ready for the funeral, it brings me back to the loss of life in my own family and I laugh and cry at the fact that I do not remember any of the specific dates of their deaths. God gave me the ability (He gave it to us all, really) to not dwell on the bad things in the past. I choose (yes, it's a choice) to remember the good times and to celebrate in my family's lives. I remember my grandparents and parents wedding anniversaries (that's easy, because they are the same day - July 26th), and I choose to remember both of my paren'ts birthdays. I tend to go to a quiet place, pray and remember them on those days. I don't care to remember them sick or in a coffin.
I pray that the peace that passes all understanding will make its way into my friends lives as they go through this grieving process. And I pray that they will remember the good times and not dwell on the sickness or the times of sorrow.
As I get ready for the funeral, it brings me back to the loss of life in my own family and I laugh and cry at the fact that I do not remember any of the specific dates of their deaths. God gave me the ability (He gave it to us all, really) to not dwell on the bad things in the past. I choose (yes, it's a choice) to remember the good times and to celebrate in my family's lives. I remember my grandparents and parents wedding anniversaries (that's easy, because they are the same day - July 26th), and I choose to remember both of my paren'ts birthdays. I tend to go to a quiet place, pray and remember them on those days. I don't care to remember them sick or in a coffin.
I pray that the peace that passes all understanding will make its way into my friends lives as they go through this grieving process. And I pray that they will remember the good times and not dwell on the sickness or the times of sorrow.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Happy Birthday Nathan - PSALM 127:3
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."
As I look back on the last 16 years, there have been laughs, tears, hard times, good times, and I am thankful to God for each and every day I get to spend with my son.
Nathan injured himself over the weekend and during the last three days, I am reminded of Luke 10 where Jesus was at dinner with Martha and Mary. Martha busied herself attending to all of the household chores and cooking while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and lavished her attention on Him.
I took off a few days to make sure that Nate didn't have to get up onto his leg every couple of minutes. I could have gotten so much done around the house, cleaning, laundry, all that tedious stuff we hate to do. Instead, I made sure the ice pack was ready, taking it back and forth to the freezer, taking care of the fickle dogs that wanted in and out all day, and getting Nate food and medicine. We sat around and watched movies and tv shows, cuddled on the couch (he'll hate that I put that in there), and I became the "backseat sniper" on his video game - pointing out his targets for him (yes, I know he needs no help in that area). As aggrevating as I was with that, he just laughed at me and we just enjoyed 3 days of being slugs.
Oh don't be fooled, the devil kept throwing around Prov 6:9, but I kept coming back to the fact that my baby bird will be leaving the nest in a few years and I cherish all the cuddle time I can get with him. For a few years, there was a lot of arguments and termoil in this house over school, and this last year was a magnificent change for Nate. He's growing up and I am so proud of him and so completely blessed to see the young man he is growing up to be. I truly love him and thankful for the relationship we have.
Parents, take the time to let your kids know how much you love them. You may think they know, but sometimes they need to hear the words uttered on your lips.
As I look back on the last 16 years, there have been laughs, tears, hard times, good times, and I am thankful to God for each and every day I get to spend with my son.
Nathan injured himself over the weekend and during the last three days, I am reminded of Luke 10 where Jesus was at dinner with Martha and Mary. Martha busied herself attending to all of the household chores and cooking while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and lavished her attention on Him.
I took off a few days to make sure that Nate didn't have to get up onto his leg every couple of minutes. I could have gotten so much done around the house, cleaning, laundry, all that tedious stuff we hate to do. Instead, I made sure the ice pack was ready, taking it back and forth to the freezer, taking care of the fickle dogs that wanted in and out all day, and getting Nate food and medicine. We sat around and watched movies and tv shows, cuddled on the couch (he'll hate that I put that in there), and I became the "backseat sniper" on his video game - pointing out his targets for him (yes, I know he needs no help in that area). As aggrevating as I was with that, he just laughed at me and we just enjoyed 3 days of being slugs.
Oh don't be fooled, the devil kept throwing around Prov 6:9, but I kept coming back to the fact that my baby bird will be leaving the nest in a few years and I cherish all the cuddle time I can get with him. For a few years, there was a lot of arguments and termoil in this house over school, and this last year was a magnificent change for Nate. He's growing up and I am so proud of him and so completely blessed to see the young man he is growing up to be. I truly love him and thankful for the relationship we have.
Parents, take the time to let your kids know how much you love them. You may think they know, but sometimes they need to hear the words uttered on your lips.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Love Your Enemies? Really? MATTHEW 5:44
"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."
Reading this verse is a hard pill to swallow today. I'm glad that Jesus doesn't tell us we have to "like" all of our enemies. I was verbally abused and belittled late last night. I was so angry because I know it was completely unjustified, and these two individuals have been suffering from paranoid delusions since around Christmas (not officially, but unofficially, I've known they are just nuts for some time). And although I know that their remarks were outlandish and unfounded, I was livid. My first thought was "how dare they", then it moved on to "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
After texting a good friend that I knew was still awake, he made me laugh a little and brought me back to reality and I started finding all the verses about evil tongues in the bible. And although I had thoughts of sharing those hateful words with someone close to me to show them how NOT to act, I realized I would be just like them if I did that. I deleted those words and asked God to forgive me for the evil thoughts I had about those people. You see, they are completely lost and going to hell. And I may not like these people, will never socialize with these people and probably will never have to be in the same room with them again, but I am commanded to love them, pray for them and bless them.
I'm pretty sure that Jesus didn't like the people that were jeering at him on the road to Calvary, but He loved them enough to endure their tortures and continue His journey to die for their sins. I know I'm far from perfect and I'm not sure I would die for these people, but I will love them, pray for them and continue to bless them, regardless of how I "feel". Because I'm suppose to for His glory.
Reading this verse is a hard pill to swallow today. I'm glad that Jesus doesn't tell us we have to "like" all of our enemies. I was verbally abused and belittled late last night. I was so angry because I know it was completely unjustified, and these two individuals have been suffering from paranoid delusions since around Christmas (not officially, but unofficially, I've known they are just nuts for some time). And although I know that their remarks were outlandish and unfounded, I was livid. My first thought was "how dare they", then it moved on to "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
After texting a good friend that I knew was still awake, he made me laugh a little and brought me back to reality and I started finding all the verses about evil tongues in the bible. And although I had thoughts of sharing those hateful words with someone close to me to show them how NOT to act, I realized I would be just like them if I did that. I deleted those words and asked God to forgive me for the evil thoughts I had about those people. You see, they are completely lost and going to hell. And I may not like these people, will never socialize with these people and probably will never have to be in the same room with them again, but I am commanded to love them, pray for them and bless them.
I'm pretty sure that Jesus didn't like the people that were jeering at him on the road to Calvary, but He loved them enough to endure their tortures and continue His journey to die for their sins. I know I'm far from perfect and I'm not sure I would die for these people, but I will love them, pray for them and continue to bless them, regardless of how I "feel". Because I'm suppose to for His glory.
A New Creation -- II CORINTHIANS 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."
It's amazing how God can sometimes change a person in minute ways, yet others, he does a drastic overhaul on. I've watched a few of my friends change in very subtle, yet distinctive ways, and then, there's me. I never thought in a million years that God would have me on so many journey's at once. Sometimes, I feel like Stretch Armstrong (oh, don't pretend you're not old enough to remember that toy), pulled in several different directions, yet at the end of the day, I'm back together because I'm whole in Christ (I know, weird analogy, but consider the source). The Lord has me going back to school, working part time, raising an amazing young man, trying to organize my life and lose weight to be healther, all at the same time. Yes, things can get a little hectic at times, but I know that I'm not the one in control and that's fine with me, because when I thought I was in control, it's obvious I didn't do that great of a job at it. So I leave it to the one who is great at it. He has a lot of practice putting people's lives back in place for His Glory.
This blog was suggested by at least one friend of mine to keep myself on track for my crazy life, and she has told me on numerous times that I encourage her because I haven't given up (sat down a few times to take a breath, but never quit). I don't really know what God has in store for me, but I know that even through the trials and tribulations that life will throw at me and temptations that the devil will lay before me, God is with me, sometimes even carrying me and always encouraging me.
It seems that a lot of people around me are dealing with the medical sufferings of loved ones and my heart hurts for them. Yet on the other hand, although my mother suffered with lung cancer, God saw fit to spare me from actually witnessing her suffering first-hand and I'm thankful for that. So today was so heart-wrenching to get information on a funeral for a friend's brother, hear the heartbreak in a friends voice relaying conversation she had with her ailing father and to see the frailty in the face of an amazing woman of God. But, "there is joy in the morning" and tomorrow is another day. And a day with the Lord in trials and tribulations is better than 1 second living for the devil.
I'll keep posting on my workouts, classes, family and friends and I hope you leave any comments as I welcome all of you.
It's amazing how God can sometimes change a person in minute ways, yet others, he does a drastic overhaul on. I've watched a few of my friends change in very subtle, yet distinctive ways, and then, there's me. I never thought in a million years that God would have me on so many journey's at once. Sometimes, I feel like Stretch Armstrong (oh, don't pretend you're not old enough to remember that toy), pulled in several different directions, yet at the end of the day, I'm back together because I'm whole in Christ (I know, weird analogy, but consider the source). The Lord has me going back to school, working part time, raising an amazing young man, trying to organize my life and lose weight to be healther, all at the same time. Yes, things can get a little hectic at times, but I know that I'm not the one in control and that's fine with me, because when I thought I was in control, it's obvious I didn't do that great of a job at it. So I leave it to the one who is great at it. He has a lot of practice putting people's lives back in place for His Glory.
This blog was suggested by at least one friend of mine to keep myself on track for my crazy life, and she has told me on numerous times that I encourage her because I haven't given up (sat down a few times to take a breath, but never quit). I don't really know what God has in store for me, but I know that even through the trials and tribulations that life will throw at me and temptations that the devil will lay before me, God is with me, sometimes even carrying me and always encouraging me.
It seems that a lot of people around me are dealing with the medical sufferings of loved ones and my heart hurts for them. Yet on the other hand, although my mother suffered with lung cancer, God saw fit to spare me from actually witnessing her suffering first-hand and I'm thankful for that. So today was so heart-wrenching to get information on a funeral for a friend's brother, hear the heartbreak in a friends voice relaying conversation she had with her ailing father and to see the frailty in the face of an amazing woman of God. But, "there is joy in the morning" and tomorrow is another day. And a day with the Lord in trials and tribulations is better than 1 second living for the devil.
I'll keep posting on my workouts, classes, family and friends and I hope you leave any comments as I welcome all of you.
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